'Dead' míle fáilte

So, Ireland is 'The Friendliest country in the world' according to Lonely planet..

Ok, I've just checked my dictionary and there is no mention of friendliness involving a fire extinguisher in the face. Even Foreign students being strangled? The dictionary doesn't refer to this as being a one of our hundreds of thousands of welcomes. Baffling. And what about our daily murders and shootings? Not there I'm afraid, maybe that'll be in the next edition..

And what about the gang of Americans I met on Saturday night who witnessed, not one, not two, BUT FIVE, fist fights break out at the corner of Auinger St and Stephens St. Do you think they ran away because they felt welcomed? Are they writing postcards right now to their parents

'Dear Mom and Dad, I think I'm going to stay here for good. I saw a guy use a chainsaw on a postman earlier. It was so exciting. And I was in a big supermarket and an old woman, with lots of gold jewellery (she must be rich!!) punched her 5 year old child in the face for crying because it was cold and she'd just sold his jacket for heroin. The Irish are so nice. Oh, as I write this I'm being raped. Wish you were here, Stacey'

Still, the guy who drove by me at great speed, hanging out of the window of his luminous car on Wexford st the other night and told me he would 'set fire to my oul one' was being friendly. Wasn't he?

Just call me 'el Disgracó'

So ND is thinking of leaving the country. It's not personal but I just gotta go. Like James Joyce, the Duke of Wellington and Barry McGuigan, I think my cause will be better served if I took it to the globe. I hope you understand.

I'll do up a knapsack, pop it on a stick and take to the highway. It'll be feverishly romantic. My clothes will have the distressed look of a drifter, with a dash of hero. Strangers, will be high fiving me from passing trucks. I'll beat the dusty paths and cross the locomotive trail to the strains of Crosby, Stills and Nash. Dogs and goats will gallop along side me as I gather pace through the council estates, and will sleep beneath the stars with me, gently unrolling their tongues on my sweaty brow. I may or may not hire a Peruvian boy to carry my laptop and CD's. The days will become weeks and the weeks will become, strangely, days. I will know the stars by name, and each night I will serenade a different one. Wolves, will be repelled with ease and would be rapists will be invited to discuss their problems. Ticker tape will greet me in each town, the mothers will send their young with baskets of fresh bread. There'll be many a frothy one waiting for me in the bars. Local broadsheets will refer to me as the 'Mr Drift' and will count down my arrival. Flags will half-mast as I leave, the name 'Disgrace' will be a popular one for newly born kids for many a year to come.

Either that or I could fly Ryanair

Beirut - Nantes

So myself and Fakey have fallen out over these guys. I didn't rate them you see, and we engaged in a little bit of fist fighting over this. It's pretty much how we do things. However, I was alerted to their appearance on Blogotheque and I must admit to being mildly seduced by their charms. I love the industrial apartment complex as it reminds me of the place I lived in when I 'studied' in Dundalk (as it happened, it was a recently bombed hotel, but the rent was cheap and the corpses made great eating) and the tune itself is a raggle taggle folk drifter that makes you wanna go straight up to the attic and grab that banjo.

Of course this doesn't mean that Fakey was right... but it was worth the argument, if you get my drift?

BEIRUT - Nantes - from The Flying Club Cup
Uploaded by flyingclubcup

Horses

So, Disgrace is back. I'm saving most of the details for the book, but let's just say that being tied to a radiator and forced to tongue kiss a man dressed as Brian Keenan sounds like Funderland compared to what I've been through. Still, we learn and we live, and as long as the radiator has an eco friendly setting, we should all be ok

Anyway, horses. I was on my way to work this morning and a kid raced by on the back of one. At 8.30 am. On the Rathmines rd.

I note that top Jockey Kieran Fallon has been found guilty of fixing races. I also note that Kuerten's horse's B sample has been found guilty. Is this meandering nations love affair with horses over? I mean, other than having them in for dinner like they do in parts of Clondalkin, haven't we been guilty of mistreating them for too long?

Still, it is nice to see them in positions of power

Later

DCB

Non Stick

Last night, Disgrace could be seen bent uncomfortably over the cooker, flapping about manically with a spatula (and no, he wasn't filming a scene from Fake Empires latest porn flick). Amid the pots, pans and (strangely) shampoo, was what the lord of the Manor later wearily referred to as dinner. It was Chicken, Pollock style. With a gentle touch of Major Roadwork's.

Even members of the National Disgrace Cat fraternity were disgusted, and considering one of them had just spent a good 20 minutes choking on his own testicles, that's pretty severe. Anyway, it was during the 'cooking' of this meal that something interesting happened. Having almost lost a leg whilst trying to crush garlic, and just about preventing a major fire whilst boiling the rice, the 'BFD' (Big Fucking Disgrace) was having problems with his 'fried something'. It was stuck to the pan, in the same way a hedgehog sticks to a motorway. It was obviously a non-stick pan and this infuriated Disgrace as it quite obviously had some kind of food stuff stuck to it. So, naturally, he took out a ultra pointy and sharp knife and began to hack at the skillet like he was some sort of crazy kitchen based lumberjack. Of course, this act of chef rage did not help and soon Captain D was staring at a pan with it's Teflon surface in tatters and hanging off the side. It was just at this second, that one of the cats (obviously giving his balls a rest) somehow un-muted the TV by stepping on the remote. As the non-stick pan lost the stuff that makes it non-stick because something stuck to it, the air was filled with sinister tones of Bertie Ahern on 6:01 News, explaining to the Mahon Tribunal how he wasn't even born in 1997. Again, for the second post in a matter of weeks, old el Disgraceó was impressed by the irony

French to be Fried

Despite the rumours. Despite the performance. Despite the poor choice as replacement Back. Despite form. Despite reason. Despite everything.

This match is now on

Ballymun in the Rain

Now, it's well known that 50% of people who arrive into Ireland and travel along the Aircoach route to Dublin City Centre, request that the driver turn around and return them to the Airport. Some of the others, particularly the Germans, will have dropped a cyanide tab, and it's not unusual to hear foreign tongued squeals before ultimately, gunshots. Those that do stay on, are usually the Driver and Dubliners.

Strategically planned, the route takes in all the glories of destructed and desolate Dublin. It's a beautiful sight, to be safely sped along Dorset St as track suited grannies engage in fist fights outside the Bookies and Pubs. I can only imagine tourists mouths salivating as they press up against the glass and look on jealously at Ginos chipper or any of the 70 or so fast food joints on the route, full to the brim with Celtic jerseys and drunks.

Disgrace took this route at the weekend as he returned from his holler's. Swapping the Prado and St Peters for the Sun and the Sea, our hero had one week earlier, nervously approached his first resort holiday. Filled with images of stabbings, England jerseys and 'Ballymun in the Sun', I arrived and spend a wonderful week of relaxation and non life threatening incidents. The sun beamed down of me like a huge hot ball of light and the Beer, ice cold in nature, went down easier than a paraplegic prostitute. Put simply, it was bliss on a stick. Without the stick.

Disgrace even ventured into a bar that was showing a televised soccer event featuring England. Half joking to Mrs D that she'd better get ready 'to be glassed and savagely beaten' they enjoyed nothing but courtesy from our cross channel cousins.

So, having tasted this and being completely surprised by it, I returned home to Ireland with a spring in my step. As the Aircoach sped along Dorset St, with all the jerseys gathered around corners like a Finglas funeral, and the men urinating against passing dogs, and the girls with skirts over their heads, and the drunks walking on their elbows and head butting themselves, I finally understood irony

It's not like he invaded Poland or anything

"Ireland is a coarse place with a sad history where the natives are obsessed by money" <linky>

He's right though, isn't he?

Martina Navratilova in Hulk Hogan Outift

Inspired by onefortheorads hilarious post about sick surfers, I decided to lay down a test and see if the following search terms are used and how much traffic it generates. This, I must stress, is not to garner traffic, but more to expose the sick nature of the general public. I refer back to this as an example...

So.. Let's drop some keywords and see how sick you guys are.

'Mickey sandwich'
'Nude pictures free in cornflakes'
'Romantic Rapist'
'Martina Navratilova in Hulk Hogan outfit'
'Sucking off Elephant'
'Dead Corpse Tits'
'Postcard with picture of pineapple in bikini on it'
'Nun face painting'
'Bertie Ahern in Lingerie'
'Balls the size of Jupiter'
'Kangaroo kissing Granny'
'Gentleman fiddling with penis'
'US drop Slut Bomb'
''Shamrock rovers fan naked'
'Where did you put the bounty bar? Urrghh, I'm not eating that now'
'Queen romps with Monkey'
'US ambassador covered in chocolate'
'Arse filled with tennis balls'
'Santa and dog action videos'
'Horse found in hotel room with TD'
'The Knuckle Jam Rap'
'Major sperm spillage on main street'
'Derek Davies talks 'boob jobs''
'Jim's Seedy Syrup'
'Sexy Sadamn Hussein'
'Set fire to pants and ride a bike'
'Naked golf players'
Jesus' cock'
'Sliced pan nude'
'Removing foreskin with stapler'
'Carrot stuck to donkeys back in orgy'

Not Again!!

Airbus treated Hong Kong residents to an an exciting fly over by the worlds largest aircraft yesterday, in a bid to recover from recent bad publicity.

Perhaps they should of chosen a better photo then?

Celebrating Stupidity - Brian wins the UK's Big Brother

I was watching a cleverly shot, art house classic about a train driver who gets a haircut the other night when one of my feline friends accidentally stood on the battery powered television channel switcher and changed my viewing from sexy film noir, to sexless bag of shit. He had switched on Big Brother.

There, parading in front of me like a procession of members of the Myra Hindley appreciation club at the world crèche championships, were a veritable who's who of absolute stupidity. First, we had two vacuous twins. Giggling and bouncing around like a duo of happy ping-pong balls, and just as pointless. Where in the world could you be presented with two attractive and innocent blonde twins and not be remotely interested in naughty thoughts? On Big Brother that's where. This pair, with their ringtone charm and fake telepathy, are so devoid of sex that it make a month old pancake with pencils stuck in it attractive..

But that's not what this is about.

You see, the next character to present themselves for my accidental viewing was a gentleman by the name of Brian. Brian, from here on in will be a metaphor for Britain in general.

Brian was the winner of this years show, a show that I like to think of a reverse quiz show. A competition whereby the most stupid person wins. Less 'Where in the world' and more 'Where is my brain'. Possibly Brian, it could be on the moon, which according to you, is MUCH bigger than the earth. Yes Brian, the Earth. You do remember you telling one of the Lobotomy Twins that we lived on Earth, but being a little unsure?. I'm not too sure either Brian...

So this guys wins. He was a likeable sort nonetheless, but then again, Battenberg cake is likable, but I wouldn't rely on it to fill in my tax returns. Despite him being 'astonished' that Ireland had it's own flag, because he thought it 'was an island'. He was right about that at least.

What is it with Britain and it's rewards for stupidity. Remember this is the country that voted David Beckham as prime minister (well, kind of). This is the country where Ant and Dec are the high brow, high point of entertainment, despite the two of them being captains of the idiotic.

Then again, we were all conned. I mean, once I discovered that William Shakespeare DIRECTED Romeo and Juliet, I knew that the Brits had been having us on all along

Tarred and Feathered

Do you remember the old days when UTV news used to have headlines like 'Catholic Youth nailed to a cross in Bambridge' and 'Loyalist stapled to Milkcart and driven into crowded cinema'?

Well, it wasn't just the stories that made for depressing viewing. The studio and presenters looked they had recently been vandalised. Of course, all that changed when Bono grabbed David Trimble and John Hume by the hands, and Ulster Television news turned a corner.

So, instead of stories about 'Dublin to Belfast trains disrupted due to a dead Fenian on the tracks', we get news about 'the building of a Peace bridge between Newry and Dundalk'. Where we once would of had 'Young Belfast girl killed when she answers a lonely hearts from a Provo' we have 'cross community marriages now at all time high'...

That was until this

Electric Picnic Timetable and Guide - Sunday

Last part of my illegal guide to the Picnic..

So it's the morning of day three. Right now you're likely to be enjoying one of the following predicaments. Laid out naked in the St Johns Ambulance area with drips attached to you and doctors screaming, or in Bjorks changing room watching her juggle pigeons with one foot in a teapot, or dead. There is also a chance that you're being held captive in a skobies tent somewhere on the campsite. This is where the Battered sausage I told you to pack will come in handy. Offer this to the skob and make good your escape while he salivates all over it, but remember to burn the tent on your way. Unless you're dead, and we shouldn't rule it out, you're now well on your way to enjoying another great day of music.

As it's Sunday, we'll start with a little prayer. Start with 'Dear sweet baby Jesus' and take it from there. Now you'll be requiring a trip to the Waltzers as it's a great way to see what you food you spent your money on yesterday.

2pm Main Stage

Aim

Pretty cool dude, but he's likely to pretty isolated on the big stage. I wouldn't expect to be up dancing to this but that's cool as you forgot how to stand on Saturday afternoon anyway. Key songs 'Original Stuntmaster' and 'Cold Water Music'

So it's now 2.45 and there's pretty slim pickings around. You could quite feasibly kill yourself now, but we'll probably save that for later. You could also go see Bell X1, but you'd be at the wrong festival if you did so we'll contend ourselves with 6 beers for now. You will notice that the Picnic is beginning to look like the outtakes from 28 days later, but don't knock it. Most of the food available has been there for 3 days by now and you'd be codding yourself if you thought that Kebabarama didn't use human body parts in their burgers anyway. Gorge on the weak and get your arse to Dave Couse in the Foggy Notions tent

3.30 Foggy Tent

Dave Couse

It can go either way with the ex A House man, and it usually does. Pulling from a huge back catalogue one thing is for sure, it'll be a lot of fun and full of songs you know. Key tracks 'Endless Art' and 'Will it ever stop raining'.

If the Dance tent hasn't been confiscated by the Guards at this stage, you should get over there and throw some shapes. You should also be ready to throw some punches too because most of the people there are on their 27th pill of the weekend and things will have gone a little crazy. If you're so inclined, you could grab a quick feel of some young one and tell your mates later that you scored, it should be handy enough. Ok, leave the Celtic jerseys behind now and head into the home straight

5PM - Crawdaddy Tent

The Beasties are back and they'll be playing stuff from their pretty good instrumental album. Obviously you'll be pretty bored of this before long so you can nip over to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah at the Electric Arena. When you arrive in, make a big deal of actually clapping your hands and shouting 'YEAHHH!!' on the top of your voice. They love when people do that and you'll probably get sex out of it. Key Songs ' Satan said Dance' and ' Skin of my yellow etc'...

Couple of quick diversions now. Nip into Dan le Sac for his hit and get the hell out of there before he plays anything else. Unkle is on in some tent somewhere, so I'd groove along to him for a bit but you cannot justifiably be in the same county as Sonic Youth with actually going to see them. So go see them, as they're in the same county.

Blindness may well have set in to your good eye by now, but they say it increases your other senses so you should be able to hear the music perfectly now. So thank your lucky stars that Mika isn't playing. Rub a kebab over your face now, or better still, try and get it into your mouth and you're set for the final few hours.

8.45 Main Stage

Iggy and The Stooges

This will be Jammers, and with good reason. Looking like one of those preserved corpses over at St Michams, Mr Pop should be the highlight of the weekend. Key Track 'I wanna be your dog'.

You're gonna need a priest now, as I'm afraid the law of averages suggest one of your posse will have fallen victim to Consumption. Once the last rites have been administered and you've wolfed back 4 beers in memory, it's over to the Electric Arena.

9.30 Electric Arena

The Go! Team

It's the festival of love, so now's the chance to wrap some strangers crotch around your head and bounce them on your shoulders. Make sure they're the right way around though. Be liberal with your hugs, as they're a great chance to get in a sneaky grope or to pickpocket. Oh, I would avoid hugging the priest in the corner though, as I would with ANYONE who has their trousers around their ankles like he does. All of the Go! Teams songs are worth noting, so go wild.

So, we're nearly there. You've made it this far and that's something to be very proud of. Sure there's been the deaths, the rapes and Bjork but it's been all good. You might never walk again, but walking sucks anyway. There's only one hurdle left now and soon you'll be tucked up cosily in the back of an ambulance.

10.30 Primal Scream

The Screamers close the show and what a way to go out. These guys have more sides to them than a gang of schizophrenic triplets and will bounce from Country to Electro to Dance with the beat of a drum. They'll play 'Rocks' cos that's all most of you fools know but listen out for swastika eyes' too..

When the feedback all but disappears, and the lights come on, it'll be over. You'll see that the people you've been with all weekend aren't actually your friends and you'll now feel very alone. Don't bother looking for your shoes, they're long gone. So you trudge slowly over wet sand..."Morrissey, get away from my Computer'... Anyway, you'll make your way, heart heavy to the campsite. The familiar feeling of chaos has deserted you and the beats a million miles away, you'll wish it was all about to start again.. And that's the sign of a good festival. Not the scars, not being all cool in work the next day cos you're on crutches, but the fact that you'd do it all again...

And then you realise your tent is on fire.....

Electric Picnic Timetable and Guide - Saturday

So it's Saturday. You've had 2 hours sleep and you killed two campers with thier own guitars after the 78th rendition of 'crazy world'. Breakfast is slightly fizzier than normal and you appear to be naked from the waist down. If you're lucky, you'll still be on the electric picnic site and not wandering somewhere in Roscommon, so now's the time to make it count. Get up, spray some lynx over you and let's go...

First up

1.00 Foggy Notions tent

The Jimmy Cake

The first hour of the day is crucial to your overall survival, but if you're going to drop dead, this is the place to do it. Lingering instrumentals and emotion filled hooks will ensure that you meet your demise with a sense of ceremony. And, if you're one of the lucky ones and survive, this is the perfect start to the day. Key Songs 'The Opposite of Addiction' and 'this used to be the future'

Now, there is literally nothing to do until !!! at 3, unless you dig Marlenna Shaw, which I'm sure you don't. I suppose you could do a bit of vomiting now.

3.15 Electric Stage

!!! (CHK CHK CHK) or (EXCLAMATION, EXCLAMATION, EXCLAMATION)

Excellent thoughtful electro pop from these guys. Probably completely different live than on record and that should be a good thing. Also expect some interaction with their good buddies Hot Chipped Potatoes if they're still in town. Key Tracks 'Bend over Beethoven' and 'Must be the moon'

4.00 Bodytonic

Bonde de Role

Crazy sub rave pop clash madness from these 'yokes'. The music is a lot of fun to make a lot of noise to, which generally means it's not that good, but they could be the hit of the festival. Key tracks 'All of them'.

Ok, so we're now in the thick of it. You've gone blind in one eye, but it could of been only slightly worse. You've just buried a member of your party, and another looks close to death. Do the humane things and leave them to die on the Big Wheel and get your arse over to Spilly Walker


5.30 Foggy Tent

Spilly Walker

New surprise electronic side project from a well known Dublin trendsetter. I'll give you a clue : It's David Kitt

6.30 Crawdaddy

Architecture in Helsinki

You've got 15 mins, so run up and ask them to play 'do the whirlwind' first. Throw your arms around a bit and make your excuses. Jarvis is on

6.45 Electric Arena

The Cockmeister, (not in that way)

The highlight of the weekend. He'll absolutely love it if you run up, pull your pants down, wave your arse at him and ask him to play 'smooth criminal'. Key Track 'C*nts are ruling the world' 'Any Pulp Track'. Tell him Disgrace says hello, and don't worry when he looks confused, he always does that.

7.45 Foggy AND Crawdaddy

If you have split personalities, perfect. Send one to Ladytron with their searing electro beats and another to Ratatat with his pseudo hip-hop-electro. Then get your self to a doctor, because split personalities should not manifest them selves in such a physical fashion. While you're there steal some Morphine. You're going to need it later

8.45 Electric Arena

Erasure

Gay is the new straight, and where better to dance with your hands on your hips than at this. With more hits than the average battered wife, you'd wanna be dead not to enjoy this. Key 'Oh L'amour' and 'A little Respect'

9.45 Bodytonic

Simian Mobile Disco

Get your arse (if it's recovered from the above) to this for the last 45 mins of their set. Bursts of genius from these guys and they'll doubtlessly play that song that used to be cool before MTV started playing it. Key Tracks ' That one'. Of course, 'The Field' are playing too.. They're pretty damn good also

10.30 Quick Breather

Now's a good time to go looking for your trousers, probably back at the erasure tent. Do a quick headcount, and be ruthless, ditch the liabilities. Might be an idea to whack a bit of that morphine into you, cos you've just lost an arm and the pain is something else... We've only time for one more full band and a little bit of the Mary chain'..

10.45 Beastie Boys

It has to be. They're playing an instrumental set one of the nights and a full on hits collection the other. I've no idea what night this is, but then again, either will you


Sunday to follow

Electric Picnic Timetable and Guide - Friday

It's Picnic time children, and here's Disgraces picks, in reverse.

Friday

10 onwards

LCD Soundsystem - Friday - Main stage

Cooler than a lock-in at Solas, James 'could of played for Ireland' Murphy is back, or well, here at least. Key tracks 'North American Scum' and 'Tribulations'

9.45 - 10.00

Modest Mouse - Crawdaddy Stage

Expect this to be full of people who don't even realise they've released 39 albums. Get this 15 mins in before LCD. Key Tracks ' talking shit....' 'Float On'

8.45 - 9.45

Bjork - Main stage

More screeches and wails than a Priest Filled creche, but very occasionally, something melodic and beautiful emerges from beneath the noise and when it does it's nicer than Christmas . Key Tracks 'Earth Intruders' and ' Hyperballad'

8.00 - 8.45

You time - Anywhere

Relax now and take it easy. It's only Friday and you're already disgustingly drunk. At this stage you could wander into Simple Kid, but that'd be too easy. The Dance tent hasn't even got warmed up yet so I'd avoid that as it'd be a bit like being at Funderland on your own. Best to slump against a tree and French kiss a stranger right now. Their saliva should contain enough energy to keep you going.

7.00 - 8.00

Hot Chip - Main Stage

The party is really starting now. Hot Chip's 'Over and Over' was the soundtrack to a summer of pants dropping last year and with 'My Piano' on a decent DJ kicks records they're well and truly back. Note, Hot CHIPS are available from a number of Vans around the site, but they're not the same thing

5.45 - 6.45

Paul Hartnoll - Electric Arena

You've arrived. 7 cans of Tuborg down already and your bladder is so ready to explode that the US are considering it a threat to security. Release the beast and head to ex Orbital man Paul's eclectic set. He mixes it up a little, and it's a great start to a weekend, that all being well, you will end up being hospitalised after. Key Tracks 'Patchwork Guilt'.

Saturday to follow...

Full timetable here

The Destruction of Peters Pub

Peters Pub in Dublin City Centre was an oasis of down to earth normality. Lurking, non-threateningly in the back streets between Georges and Grafton, it's curtained windows gave off a homely, yet sophisticated air where only on a sunny day would you see any custom. Not that there wasn't any on the other 364 days of the year, but on those grey and cold afternoons, these drinkers were tucked cosily behind the net curtains and being kept warm by the balmy flow of soft conversation. Stepping in from a day shopping, you'd be lucky to get a seat at the bar as it was so small, so the best you could get was one of the couches along the left hand side. But it'd do. The old regulars would be perched at the bar anyway. There'd be no music. No Television. No distractions. It was a beautiful place to get very beautifully drunk in.

The other day, myself and two members of the Disgrace appreciation society were keen to refresh ourselves and a suggestion to hit 'Pete's' was motioned. It passed. When we arrived at the door, I was greeted with the sight of a man in 'work garments'. Even though he had a hammer in his hand and pencil behind his ear, I had decided that he was merely an alcoholic carpenter (just like Karen) and went to casually brush him aside.

He didn't have to say anything because I was stopped quite firmly in my tracks. I looked through the window (one of the ones in the picture there) and was greeted with a badly executed Opera of disaster. The bar, which had once oozed with character, was gone and had been replaced with 50's re-model faux wood panels, 'distressed' to look older. The landmark toilet, which had so much wrong with it, that it was just perfect, was gone. A wall, which once separated the pub from the shop next door, was gone. Christ, even the shop next door was gone. And now, the character was also gone.

Disgrace and Co. struck up a conversation with the 'builder' and he promised us that the finished article would be different, that it's merely an 'auld lick of paint'. I shook my head dismissively, as I do with the working class, and turned and headed for Camden Street.

Another bit of Dublin is gone. And, judging by last nights return visit to Peters, so are the regulars.


*Pic from fjp

Full Electic Picnic Timetable

Don't forget Disgraces amazing guide to the Picnic.. It's Here and Here and Here

Friday

MAIN STAGE

10:30-12:00 LCD Soundsystem
8.45-9.45 Bjork
7.00-8.00 Hot Chip
5.30-6.15 Ukelele Orchestra of GB ©


ELECTRIC ARENA


9.15-10.30 The Good, The Bad & The Queen ©
7.30-8.30 Manic Street Preachers
5:45 - 6:45 Paul Hartnoll Band

CRAWDADDY STAGE


9:30 - 10:30 Modest Mouse
7:45 - 8:45 Simple Kid
6:30 - 7:15 Scott Matthews
5:30 - 6:00 How I Became the Bomb

BODYTONIC

12.30-2am Derrick Carter
1130-1230 Greenskeepers Live
0900-1130 Mr Scruff
0730-0900 Dixon & Ame
0600-0730 The Glimmers
0500-0600 The Elecktrons
0400-0500 Larry Heard
0300-0400 Stereotonic DJs
0200-0300 Republik DJs
0100-0200 Backlash DJs
1200-0100 Acii Disco DJs

SWEETNESS&LIGHT

12 TBC
11.10. DADDY. (IRL)
10.20. Tado. (UK)
9.30. Alan Clarke. (IRL)
8.40. The Tender Trio’s Brian Coldrick & Christopher Reeves. (IRL)
7.50. David Rooney. (IRL)
7 Richard Gilligan. (IRL)
6 Intro video.


Saturday

MAIN STAGE

12.00-2.00 Chemical Bros
10.00-11.15 The Jesus and Mary Chain
8.15 - 9.15 Polyphonic Spree
6.30-7.30 Magic Numbers
4.45-5.45 Easy Allstars Radiodread
3.00-4.00 Craig Armstrong
1.30-2.15 Marlena Shaw & Orchestra
12.30-1.00 The Company

ELECTRIC ARENA

10.45-12.00 Beastie Boys
8.45-9.45 Erasure
6.45-7.45 Jarvis Cocker
5.00-6.00 MIA
3.15-4.15 !!!
2.00-2.30 Shychild
1.00-1.30 Channel One


CRAWDADDY STAGE

11.00-12.00 Duke Special
9.15-10.15 Spiritualized Acoustic Mainlines
7.45-8.45 Ladytron
6.30-7.15 Architecture In Helsinki
5.15-6.00 Fionn Regan
4.00-4.45 The Undertones
2.45-3.30 Dave Geraghty
1.45-2.15 Candi Payne
12:45-1:15 Delorentos


Foggy Notions

11.00-12.00 Deerhoof
9.15-10.15 Final Fantasy
7.45-8.45 Ratatat
6.30-7.15 Camera Obscura
5.15-6.00 Spilly Walker
4.00-4.45 Electrelane
3.00-3.30 Malajube
2.00-2.30 Angus & Julia Stone
1.00-1.30 The Jimmy Cake


Trends Lab

11.00-12.00 Nouvelle Vague
9.15-10.15 The Field
7.45-8.45 DHOL Foundation
6.30-7.15
5.15-6.00 65 Days of Static
4.00-4.45 Stephen Fretwell
3.00-3.30 My Brightest Diamond
2.00-2.30 Kissaway Trail
1.00-1.30 Redkid


Bodytonic

1200-2am Josh Wink
1030-1200 Marco Carola
0900-1030 Simian Mobile Disco Live
0730-0900 Jamie Liddell
0630-0730 DJ Marky
0530-0630 Hexstatic
0400-0530 Bonde Do Role
0300-0400 Annie Mac
0200-0300 SiSI (110 st DJs)
0100-0200 Inner City DJs
1200-0100 DJ Competition Winner



SWEETNESS&LIGHT

12 TBC.
11 Mike Mills. (US)
10 B+
9.10. Ben Drury. (UK)
8.20. Lovely Productions. (IRL)
7.30. Jill Furmanovsky. (UK)
6.40. M&E.
5.50. eBoy. (GER)
5 BrenB. (IRL)
4.10. Angry. (IRL)
3.20. Asbestos. (IRL)
2.30. Airside. (UK)
1.40. Aidan Kelly. (IRL)
12.50. Dan Willett & Mark James. (UK)
12 Conor & David. (IRL)


Sunday

MAIN STAGE

10.45-12.00 Primal Scream
8.45-9.45 Iggy & The Stooges
7.00-8.00 Sonic Youth
5.15-6.15 Soul II Soul
3.30-4.30 Horace Andy
2.00-2.45 Aim
12.45-1.30 Luisito Quintero
12.00-12.30 Gospel Choir


ELECTRIC ARENA

10.45-12.00
9.30-10.30 The Go! Team
7.30-8.45 UNKLE
5.45-6.45 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
4.15-5.00 Rahzel & MC Supernatural
3.00-3.45
1.30-2.15
12:30-1:00 Fight like Apes

CRAWDADDY STAGE

10.45-11.45 Damien Dempsey
9.00-10.00 Kila
7.15-8.15 Rilo Kiley
5:00-6.30 Beastie Boys
3:15-4:15 The Fall
2.15-2:45 Patrick Wolf
1.15-1.45 Two Gallants
12.15-12.45 Warlords of Pez

Foggy Notions

10.45-11.45 Skream
9.00-10.00 Fujiya & Miyagi
7.15-8.15 Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pimp
6.00-6.45 Serena-Maneesh
4.45-5.30 Bat for Lashes
3.30-4.15 Dave Couse
2.30-3.00 Loney Dear
1.30-2.00 Si Schroeder
12:30-1:00 The Flaws

Time Trends Lab

10.45-11.45 Kieran Hebden & S Reid
9.00-10.00 Dub Pistols & Terry Hall
7.15-8.15 The Ting Tings
6.00-6.45 Sons & Daughters
4.45-5.30 The Aliens
3.30-4.15 Good Shoes
2.30-3.00 Halves
1.30-2.00 The Little Ones
12:30 - 1:00 Oppenheimer

BODYTONIC

1030-1200 Derrick May
0900-1030 Bodytonic Sound System
0800-0900 Joakim Live
0700-0800 Aquerla (Samba Band)
0530-0700 DJ Yoda
0430-0530 Bugs In The Attic
0330-0430 DJ Craze & A-Trak
0245-0330 Scribble Records pres DJ Kormac
0200-0245 Stee Downes (10 piece band)
0100-0200 Timmy & Al Simms(Stiff Kitten)
1200-0100 Viva DJ's - Limerick


SWEETNESS&LIGHT

12 TBC.
11 Colonel Blimp w/directors.
10 Shynola. (UK)
9.10. Tim Biskup. (US)
8.20. Oliver Jeffers. (IRL)
7.30. Rinzen. (GER)
6.40. Johnny & Michael Kelly. (IRL)
5.50. Hort. (GER)
5 Gary Baseman. (US)
4.10. Linda Brownlee. (IRL)
3.20. TBC.
2.30. Conor Harrington. (UK)
1.40. David Cleary. (IRL)
12.50. Jon Burgerman. (UK)
12 Glenn Leyburn. (IRL)

Trapped in the Closet

Whether or not the title is some reference to his struggle with his sexuality, R Kelly's collection of 'hip-hopera' could be deemed as amusing as it is disturbing. If I could finally accept that Americans can do 'irony' I would be rolling around the floor laughing at this, but as I can't, I guess this is just plain frightening.

Trapped in the Closet (Full Series on Google)

For the way we die Today

Get a load of this poster that I saw in my local Londis. Nearly as shocking as their prices, it offers to 'help you fill' your childs schoolbag, though you may require an unlimited overdraft to do so, and then goes further and prints a picture of a person 'hanging' and what appears to be a coffin, again offering to help you fill it.

The 2-for-1 special on ropes doesn't help either

O'Driscoll Punch - Bayonne v Ireland

If losing out in the Six Nations to a dubious last gasp try wasn't enough motivation to beat the French in the Rugby World Cup, then this surely is..

Now I can see why the English hate them so much.

Anyone for Freedom Fries?

L'incident - wideo
match de rugby

Mots-clés : bayonne rugby

Video de bayonnaisbleu