So it's Saturday. You've had 2 hours sleep and you killed two campers with thier own guitars after the 78th rendition of 'crazy world'. Breakfast is slightly fizzier than normal and you appear to be naked from the waist down. If you're lucky, you'll still be on the electric picnic site and not wandering somewhere in Roscommon, so now's the time to make it count. Get up, spray some lynx over you and let's go...
1.00 Foggy Notions tent
The Jimmy Cake
The first hour of the day is crucial to your overall survival, but if you're going to drop dead, this is the place to do it. Lingering instrumentals and emotion filled hooks will ensure that you meet your demise with a sense of ceremony. And, if you're one of the lucky ones and survive, this is the perfect start to the day. Key Songs 'The Opposite of Addiction' and 'this used to be the future'
Now, there is literally nothing to do until !!! at 3, unless you dig Marlenna Shaw, which I'm sure you don't. I suppose you could do a bit of vomiting now.
3.15 Electric Stage
!!! (CHK CHK CHK) or (EXCLAMATION, EXCLAMATION, EXCLAMATION)
Excellent thoughtful electro pop from these guys. Probably completely different live than on record and that should be a good thing. Also expect some interaction with their good buddies Hot Chipped Potatoes if they're still in town. Key Tracks 'Bend over Beethoven' and 'Must be the moon'
Bonde de Role
Crazy sub rave pop clash madness from these 'yokes'. The music is a lot of fun to make a lot of noise to, which generally means it's not that good, but they could be the hit of the festival. Key tracks 'All of them'.
Ok, so we're now in the thick of it. You've gone blind in one eye, but it could of been only slightly worse. You've just buried a member of your party, and another looks close to death. Do the humane things and leave them to die on the Big Wheel and get your arse over to Spilly Walker
5.30 Foggy Tent
New surprise electronic side project from a well known Dublin trendsetter. I'll give you a clue : It's David Kitt
Architecture in Helsinki
You've got 15 mins, so run up and ask them to play 'do the whirlwind' first. Throw your arms around a bit and make your excuses. Jarvis is on
6.45 Electric Arena
The Cockmeister, (not in that way)
The highlight of the weekend. He'll absolutely love it if you run up, pull your pants down, wave your arse at him and ask him to play 'smooth criminal'. Key Track 'C*nts are ruling the world' 'Any Pulp Track'. Tell him Disgrace says hello, and don't worry when he looks confused, he always does that.
7.45 Foggy AND Crawdaddy
If you have split personalities, perfect. Send one to Ladytron with their searing electro beats and another to Ratatat with his pseudo hip-hop-electro. Then get your self to a doctor, because split personalities should not manifest them selves in such a physical fashion. While you're there steal some Morphine. You're going to need it later
8.45 Electric Arena
Gay is the new straight, and where better to dance with your hands on your hips than at this. With more hits than the average battered wife, you'd wanna be dead not to enjoy this. Key 'Oh L'amour' and 'A little Respect'
Simian Mobile Disco
Get your arse (if it's recovered from the above) to this for the last 45 mins of their set. Bursts of genius from these guys and they'll doubtlessly play that song that used to be cool before MTV started playing it. Key Tracks ' That one'. Of course, 'The Field' are playing too.. They're pretty damn good also
10.30 Quick Breather
Now's a good time to go looking for your trousers, probably back at the erasure tent. Do a quick headcount, and be ruthless, ditch the liabilities. Might be an idea to whack a bit of that morphine into you, cos you've just lost an arm and the pain is something else... We've only time for one more full band and a little bit of the Mary chain'..
10.45 Beastie Boys
It has to be. They're playing an instrumental set one of the nights and a full on hits collection the other. I've no idea what night this is, but then again, either will you
Sunday to follow