Wednesday, October 17, 2007

'Dead' míle fáilte

So, Ireland is 'The Friendliest country in the world' according to Lonely planet..

Ok, I've just checked my dictionary and there is no mention of friendliness involving a fire extinguisher in the face. Even Foreign students being strangled? The dictionary doesn't refer to this as being a one of our hundreds of thousands of welcomes. Baffling. And what about our daily murders and shootings? Not there I'm afraid, maybe that'll be in the next edition..

And what about the gang of Americans I met on Saturday night who witnessed, not one, not two, BUT FIVE, fist fights break out at the corner of Auinger St and Stephens St. Do you think they ran away because they felt welcomed? Are they writing postcards right now to their parents

'Dear Mom and Dad, I think I'm going to stay here for good. I saw a guy use a chainsaw on a postman earlier. It was so exciting. And I was in a big supermarket and an old woman, with lots of gold jewellery (she must be rich!!) punched her 5 year old child in the face for crying because it was cold and she'd just sold his jacket for heroin. The Irish are so nice. Oh, as I write this I'm being raped. Wish you were here, Stacey'

Still, the guy who drove by me at great speed, hanging out of the window of his luminous car on Wexford st the other night and told me he would 'set fire to my oul one' was being friendly. Wasn't he?

3 comments:

Nonny said...

Ah there are some nice elements to our Emerald Isle but you are right half it’s population carry on like animals.

OneForTheRoad said...

I think they meant our football team.

They usually can't do enough to help the other team.

But otherwise, we're horrible cunts.

mp3hugger said...

I still think we're nice. I was away for 15 months about 4 years ago and when I came back I couldn't get over how friendly people were. When you are here all the time you just overlook the good bits and concentrate on the nasty stuff.