Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Non Stick


Last night, Disgrace could be seen bent uncomfortably over the cooker, flapping about manically with a spatula (and no, he wasn't filming a scene from Fake Empires latest porn flick). Amid the pots, pans and (strangely) shampoo, was what the lord of the Manor later wearily referred to as dinner. It was Chicken, Pollock style. With a gentle touch of Major Roadwork's.

Even members of the National Disgrace Cat fraternity were disgusted, and considering one of them had just spent a good 20 minutes choking on his own testicles, that's pretty severe. Anyway, it was during the 'cooking' of this meal that something interesting happened. Having almost lost a leg whilst trying to crush garlic, and just about preventing a major fire whilst boiling the rice, the 'BFD' (Big Fucking Disgrace) was having problems with his 'fried something'. It was stuck to the pan, in the same way a hedgehog sticks to a motorway. It was obviously a non-stick pan and this infuriated Disgrace as it quite obviously had some kind of food stuff stuck to it. So, naturally, he took out a ultra pointy and sharp knife and began to hack at the skillet like he was some sort of crazy kitchen based lumberjack. Of course, this act of chef rage did not help and soon Captain D was staring at a pan with it's Teflon surface in tatters and hanging off the side. It was just at this second, that one of the cats (obviously giving his balls a rest) somehow un-muted the TV by stepping on the remote. As the non-stick pan lost the stuff that makes it non-stick because something stuck to it, the air was filled with sinister tones of Bertie Ahern on 6:01 News, explaining to the Mahon Tribunal how he wasn't even born in 1997. Again, for the second post in a matter of weeks, old el DisgraceĆ³ was impressed by the irony

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clever Cats

Mike said...

He survived the no confidence maybe your pan will be ok