Question: What should you not do on a Monday morning (other than arrive into work with a pump-action shotgun)?
Answer: Check your bank balance.
This morning, having somehow convinced myself that I only spent €1.50 over the weekend, and sure that when I checked it, I'd be greeted with a picture of a big fat bag of cash and a recorded message from my bank manager telling me how pretty I looked, I logged on online to Banking 365. You know that sinking feeling you get when you're, oh I don't know, sinking?
And that's just when you see the balance. It seriously all goes Titanic when you realise that all that wine that Fakey made you buy on Saturday still hasn't been debited. And then you notice that 47 direct debits have yet to come out. And the 'notified' interest that you weren't notified about. And the standing order to the African child you sponsor, who is now 32, works in Insurance and actually never existed in the first place.
I seriously wish we all lived in a place where there was no money. The 80's for example.
6 comments:
"There's a tree by a river near a hole in the ground where an old man of aran goes around and around...." Ah, Nick, confusing shortarse.
Lidl do good noodles too. Oh, and cheap cheese, which if grilled on the toast before adding the beans, makes a most excellent meal.
Alternatively get Tyler Durden to blow up your bank.
Sounds like my weekend...except replace wine with clothes and replace 'fakey made me buy' with 'the sales tags made me buy'.
I'm still recovering from the twisted arm those brutes gave me. *sobs into very nice new jumper sleeve*
Banking 365 told me last week that I had minus €143 in my account.
What a prick.
get an overdraft - that way when you go buying rounds of jagerbombs in rí rá at stupid o clock on a sunday morning you can be safe in the knowledge that it's AIB's money you're spending, not yours.
Rosie, I'm already overdrawn, quite considerably.. See? I'm not quite the catch you thought I was..
Thrifty, I'm not prepared to do the 'noodles on toast' thing, cos that's admiting defeat.. Maybe thats the problem? {wipes nose with slice of venison}
Rusty, at least you have something to show for it. All I have is a rash.. See? I'm not quite the catch you thought I was..
Oney, you're Donald Trump compared to me..See? I'm not quite the catch you thought I was..
Today was the 3rd day in a row that I spent trying to save up enough money for lunch only to come out of the pub broke again-I feel your pain
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