Monday, May 19, 2008

Monday Moaning

It’s like nothing else happens. When I go to write a post for this blog on a Monday, my mind keeps telling me to blog about work. It tells me to blog about how much my soul has been destroyed by work. Blog about how much I’d wish they’d change the laws on the killing of workmates. Blog about the 20 minutes on the Luas, contemplating a quick exit at each stop. Blog about how I stood outside the front door this morning and considered breaking my own leg just so I could return home. Blog about the coffee, how it tastes like licking vinegar from an old boot, with the foot of an old postman still in it. Blog about the IT dept blocking this site, and their referral of it as risqué and containing nudity. Blog about office etiquette, and how I have perfected my fake laugh for those moments by the water cooler into a terrifying mix of ‘maniac on the loose’ and ‘Count Von Count’.

Blog about how I have tailored my sporting quotations to a one size fits all conversation killer, ‘Go Sports!’. Blog about how I’ve had to read Heat! Magazine on the toilet just so I can join in on conversations about the earthquake on Hollyoaks or whatever. Blog about the work parties, which vary from ‘as much fun as a family death’ to ‘waking up in a ditch was the highlight of the evening’. Blog about team building, and how you’re forced to play role-play games with people who you know would be only too happy to eat you if your plane crashed in the Andes. Blog about the unhealthy level of snot which has been stuck to the wall of the cubicle in the men’s. Blog about the woman who makes my sandwiches, how she somehow manages to get her elbows involved in the application of coleslaw and her amazing knack of making a sandwich look eaten, before you actually eat it.

Anyway, work rant over.. Tomorrow, chicks.


Thriftcriminal said...

Yeah. Working for a living sucks satan's ass alright. I wouldn't bother my hole but I have a family to support. Sponging kids, grrrr.

OneForThe Road said...

Fucking hell.

Sounds like someone's been in my brain.

National Disgrace said...

You could always send the kids out to work for you Thrifty? I mean, footballs don't knit themselves..

Rosie said...

tuesday mornings are worse.