Had I of arrived home and found by father dressed as my mother, and my mother tied to chair with an orange in her mouth and all of my previous dogs knitted together and draped over a giant talking Celery, I would not of been as disturbed.
Had I awoken one morning and felt the unmistakable firmness of Fakeys buttocks pressed against my face, and the faint hum of Zuccheros 'Senza Una Donna' drifting from the tight confines of his bottom, I would not of been more disturbed.
Had I of switched on the Television, and been greeted with the terrifying trio of Dana, Dickie Rock and Maxi, oozing evil on the Tubriby Tonight show, I would not of been more disturbed... Oh wait, that is exactly what happened.
Staying in is the new suicide.
Had I awoken one morning and felt the unmistakable firmness of Fakeys buttocks pressed against my face, and the faint hum of Zuccheros 'Senza Una Donna' drifting from the tight confines of his bottom, I would not of been more disturbed.
Had I of switched on the Television, and been greeted with the terrifying trio of Dana, Dickie Rock and Maxi, oozing evil on the Tubriby Tonight show, I would not of been more disturbed... Oh wait, that is exactly what happened.
Staying in is the new suicide.
